Lost

Do you ever get the feeling that you're missing out on something? That maybe you're more removed than you thought and suddenly, you don't fit in anywhere?

I no longer attend high school, so I know nothing of what goes on there. All my friends I graduated with have all moved on to new schools where they've made new friends, gotten boyfriends, engaged, married, etc. Some of them are still in school, others have returned home to visit family, and even others stayed on campus to work for school in the fall. My family has lived 9 months without me and done so many new things that I have trouble keeping up with it all.

I sort of don't feel like I belong anywhere, and I spend most of my time idly playing video games or hanging out on the internet, where I once again don't feel like I fit. My creative skills have been lacking immensely in the past few months and now I no longer have the motivation to continue any of them. I don't have money to spare to go out and do things, and I'm a coward, so asking others to go places with me is beyond my limits.

I'm sure this is just a phase, but it's something that's been bothering me the past few weeks. It's almost as though everything's just out of my reach. The pathway is there, I just can't see it, so I am lost. Yeah.

That sounds a lot more depressing than I intended, but it's something I needed to get out. Fear not, I'm not suicidal, just contemplative.

Happy Friday, everyone!